Whod you bang
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
