On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
