I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
