She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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