i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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