when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
