Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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