You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
