I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
