I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
