You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
