I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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