so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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