so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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