she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
