Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize