Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
