I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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