HIV tests are more positive than that guy
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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