hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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