some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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