he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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