Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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