I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
