I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
ttyl tear gas
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
