Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the day after is always just damage control
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
