I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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