Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
