I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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