I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
