I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
