Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
