Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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