I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Randomize
