Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
