i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
