Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
