If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
