He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
