I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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