Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
