did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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