It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize