it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
