i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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