i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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