The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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