Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize