Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
