it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
