seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
