I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
