the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
