would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
