6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
