Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
