She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
