I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm at about main and main street
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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