So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
