Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
