I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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