i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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