i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
