I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
