Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
